Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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