4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Randomize
