its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
