never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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