pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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