i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Randomize
