hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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