i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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