idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Randomize
