I can feel you judging me through the phone.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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