too bad you live with your parents still
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
