i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
