I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
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