i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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