Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
