I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
