I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Randomize