Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
