The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Randomize
