I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
