So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize