I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
