Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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