Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Randomize
