Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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