I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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