I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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