ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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