I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I want to fling myself into the sun
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
