I want to make a zoo with you.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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