I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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