dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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