you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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