drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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