dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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