Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
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