I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
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