We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize
