just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Randomize
