Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Randomize