dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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