He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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