You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
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