I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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