hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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