Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
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