its not stalking. its research.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
