Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Randomize
