You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
As shirtless as possible
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Randomize
