Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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