Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
P.S. I can't hear my feet
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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