yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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