idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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