Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
