And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Randomize
