just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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