Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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