He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize
