I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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