News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
