My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
This house was built for laser tag.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
